Love yourself

Self-esteem is more precious than gold.  If you do not love yourself at least a little much of the time, how will you be able to love others, and how will others be able to love you?  How will you be able to realise your potential^[1] and contribute to humanity?  If you do not respect yourself, how will others respect you? 

Vanity, conceit, arrogance, and bravado often mask low self-love and deep insecurity.  True self-love is low-key and understated – it does not need to proclaim itself.  You love yourself if you can laugh at yourself, often.  Not a bitter self-deprecating laugh, but an affectionate chuckle or a wry smile. 

Watch your thoughts.  Resist any negative thoughts about yourself.  Self-criticism is one thing, but persistent negativity and beating up on yourself is another.  The world is full of people eager to knock you – don’t help them. 

Strive for the material independence of you and your family.  Receiving charity is corrosive^[2] of your self-esteem. 

Set goals near and far that will extend you, without clearly being out of your reach.  Know your limitations, but don’t underestimate yourself^[3].  Be clear about the paths and steps to your goals.  Identify alternative paths so that if one is blocked you can walk another. 

Each success or each step closer to any goal, no matter how small, will nourish your self-esteem and breed further success. 

Overcome the animal within^[4].  Take control of yourself.  Harness your instinctive urges^[5], including your urge to anger, and make them work for the wider benefit of yourself and humanity.  Give your inner animal free rein occasionally but on your terms only.   Practice self-abnegation^[6] without obsession.

Secrete your dreams and plans from others, especially your biggest dreams.  Even when they would mean well, don’t let others tell you it can’t be done and all the reasons why you will fail.  Don’t put rivals and enemies on notice.  Don’t dilute your resolve with talk.  Use the compliments and respect you earn from others for your smaller successes to energise you towards your secret greater dreams. 

Failures and reverses are inevitable, so advance on many fronts and draw strength from successes elsewhere.  Don’t belittle interpersonal success such as lasting friendships.  Remember that the successes of your family are also your successes.  A flourishing garden is a success, as is the mastery of a new piece of music. 

Success through deceit and crime is illusory.  You may fool others but you can’t fool yourself, and your self-esteem will be eroded. 

Make tactical retreats if you need to.  Regroup and rebuild your self-esteem away from the main fronts after major reverses.  Temporarily insulate yourself from negativity directed at you by others.  Rejoin the fray when you are ready. 

Be resolute and patient.  Don’t give up.

Guard your health.  Look after your body and spirit.  Avoid toxins, including too much of a good thing.  Eat and sleep adequately.  Exercise regularly.  Treasure your family and friends.  Make new and different friends throughout your life.  Avoid getting bitter or cynical.

Enjoy the life you have today.  Even under extreme adversity derive pleasure from the small and seemingly insignificant things around you, or from fleeting hopes and fond memories.  When you can, indulge your senses from time to time, without addiction.  Share your joy and pleasure.  Treasure your sense of wonder.  Recognise the Divine^[7] in your consciousness and the continuous miracle of life if you can.  Be sceptical but not cynical.